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Channel: Hespera's Garden » Me Me Me
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Sideswiped

I’ve been sideswiped. Just when I think I have some sort of understanding and control over how I feel, I am completely bowled over by the force that then hits me. My head starts pounding.  I can’t...

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Burning

Last night I burned a candle for the first time in… weeks. It sat and flickered on the mantle piece, dancing in the darkness and illuminating Avery’s face.  Tara stared at it, the glow lighting up her...

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Brave… Again

My disappointment is beyond rational.  Though that is a bit normal for me at the moment (being irrational). I thought I was going to the first screening of Brave in Sydney.  Was excited. I still am....

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Dry

**written Monday night**   I sit here, dry. My mind is numb.  It has been that way for days. I stare at them. 1, 2, 3, 4… 5.  All of them the same. Positive.  Hope.  Success. But they lied. Each and...

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Set Free

**this post talks in detail aboutmy miscarriage. Please note it may be traumatic for some, or bring up feelings of grief.  If you need someone to talk to, SIDS and Kids have a 24-hour Bereavement...

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Dear Avery

11 Months. I want to scream and shout and rant at the world.  I want to tell the universe to fucking leave me alone. I want you back and I would sell my soul to have it so. I cannot believe that we are...

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Blessed

Today has been amazing.  The collective outpouring of love (after the Digital Photography School article) flowing my family’s way has been nothing short of astounding.  I am completely overwhelmed....

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What I Am Missing

When your child dies, you miss out on everything.  All the dreams that you created while carrying them in your womb crash down the moment they do not breathe, but there are some things that make my...

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Dear Avery

Happy Birthday my dear, sweet, boy. It is just after midnight. Today, tomorrow.  They blur frightfully into one haze. The 14th. July 14. Oh how my heart aches right now!  To a point that I feel it may...

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Every Mile

I feel the earth between my fingers and toes where the roots of the giant oak tree grows I feel the sun bathing on my skin where the memory of touch travels further within I feel the wind whistling...

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